Tom Naughton

Looks like Lil’ Harry Reid is off the hook.  Obama forgave him and everything.  Boy, there’s a shock.  I thought Obama would call Reid into the Oval Office and say something like, “Harry, I know you come from a state where you’ll probably be replaced by a Republican who would cost us a filibuster-proof majority in the senate.  But to heck with all the socialist programs we’re trying to pass.  I’m offended and I think you should step down.”

In case you haven’t heard, a forthcoming book reveals that Harry Reid predicted Barack Obama would do well in the 2008 president race because he’s “light-skinned” and had “no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one.” 

The quick forgiveness by Obama, Al Sharpton, the press, and the directors of Offended Incorporated was entirely predictable, for one simple reason:  Harry Reid is a liberal.  In modern America, being a liberal means owning a permanent get-of-jail-free card that can be used whenever you happen to say something that spikes the needle on the Great Offend-O-Meter.  You just have to say you’re really, really sorry, make some obligatory phone calls to prominent members of the offended group, and all is well.

Anyone with half a brain knows if the exact same observation about Obama had come from the mouth of a Republican senator, Al Sharpton would still be protesting outside the senator’s office, angry demands for the senator’s resignation would be the lead story in most media outlets, and the senator would in fact end up resigning by the end of the week — even after making all the same obligatory phone calls to prominent African-Americans.

But thanks to his liberal credentials, Harry Reid would still be a senator even if he’d applied his creative observations to other ethnic candidates:

He’s a light-skinned Mexican who speaks understandable English, and he doesn’t even use a leaf-blower, unless he wants to.

He’s Jewish, but he’s been generous on a number of occasions and doesn’t whine very often, unless he wants to.

He’s a sober Irishman, and has never once started a bar brawl that I know of.

Sure, he’s Japanese-American, but his math skills are average enough that I think he’ll actually believe our health-care bill won’t add to the national deficit.

The double-standard is nothing new, of course.  A few years ago, Mel Gibson was pulled over by police for drunk driving.  During the arrest, he offered his opinion that Jews have started all the wars in the world.  It was an idiotic thing to say, and of course Gibson ended up apologizing to every prominent Jew he could think of and volunteering for therapy … all for a drunken remark never intended for public consumption, made in relative private to a police officer.

Around the same time, I heard a perfectly sober Bill Maher say — on national TV — that 80 percent of all reborn Christians are hypocrites.  Let’s set aside the fact that Bill Maher probably doesn’t even know the minimum number of reborn Christians required to make such a precise calculation (five, if you’re wondering).  It was a stupid and bigoted thing to say either way.  And yet there was no outrage, and he never had to apologize to Pat Robertson in order to salvage his career.  Maher is a liberal (despite his completely illogical claims of being a libertarian), most of his fans are liberals, his HBO bosses are liberals, so he has the get-out-of-jail free card.

While the double-standard annoys me, I don’t believe Reid’s remarks warranted such a stir in the first place.  Okay, so he observed that Obama has light skin and doesn’t speak with a “Negro” dialect unless he wants to.  So what?  Image matters in politics — if it didn’t, JFK never would’ve been president.   Is it racist to observe that in a country with a white majority, Obama is smart enough to adjust to the audience?  That’s just good salesmanship.

In high school, I worked at a clothing store where the star salesman was also a “light-skinned” African-American.  When a white customer walked into his department, he’d approach with something like, “Good afternoon, sir.  May I help you?”  When a black customer walked in, he’d change his tune to something more like, “Hey, Brother, what’s happening?”  We all noticed.  We also thought it was a smart move.  We weren’t racists for making the observation.

I’ve adjusted my own dialect at times to fit in.  When I lived in Chicago and performed in the local standup clubs, I spoke like a Chicagoan.  I could sneak a soft “n” into words where it doesn’t belong, like “White Sahncks.”  But trust me, I immediately reverted to my southern-Illinois voice when I stepped onto a stage in the south or west.  I also dressed differently.

At least Obama’s dialect sounds genuine.  As you may recall, Hillary Clinton tried adopting a dialect when she spoke at an African-American church.  It sounded like a bad impression of Uncle Remus.  (That incident, along with her “Sopranos” parody campaign ad, proved she might be the world’s worst actress.)

So I’m not suggesting Reid should’ve been forced to resign.  I’d just like to see liberals and conservatives judged by the same Offend-O-Meter once in awhile.  And while we’re at it, let’s recalibrate the Offend-O-Meter so it only spikes when actual racists make intentionally malicious remarks.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 13th, 2010 at 7:47 pm and is filed under People Are Nuts, Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.