About an hour ago, I was sitting in the TV room, scanning through the on-screen guide, when my six-year-old came in to chat.  After a moment, she looked up toward the top of a window and said, “Daddy, what kind of bug is that walking around on the glass?”

I followed her eyes, then answered, “Well, Sara, that looks a … HOLY @#$%!!”

I try not to teach her four-letter words, but the shock overcame my inhibitions.  I hustled her out of the room and exchanged my shorts and tee-shirt for what is apparently becoming my official wasp-hunting gear:  jeans, a shirt, a sweatshirt with a hood, a windbreaker with a hood, and winter gloves. 

I went to the laundry room, picked up the can of Raid, and was dismayed to find it felt nearly empty.  I gave it one little test squirt … okay, it wasn’t empty, but I hate going into battle with a flying demon short on chemical ammunition.

The window goes all the way to the ceiling, so of course that’s where the wasp was when I returned:  right up by the ceiling, still prancing around on the glass.  I climbed up on the sofa near the window and balanced one foot on an arm, another on the back.  I extended my weapon slooowwwly until I was sure I close enough to guarantee a direct hit.

PFFFFFFFFFFFT!! 

The wasp fell, and I was sure for a moment it would wind up behind the sofa, leaving me with no option but to get back there and look for it … thus assuring myself of an ambush by one very pissed-off wasp.  Fortunately, the wasp landed on a window sill, rolled onto its back, and kicked its legs for awhile, calling me a mother@#$%*! the whole time.

It’s in the garbage can outside now.  I would’ve written about this earlier, but my hands just stopped shaking a minute ago. 

Damn, I hate those things.

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7 Responses to “The Great Wasp Hunt of 2010, Part Two”
  1. the older brother says:

    You did put a concrete block on the lid of the garbage can, right?

    Oh, no ….

  2. Kate says:

    Victory!!!

    It’s a victory whenever I’m faced with a wasp and avoid screaming like a girl.

  3. Anon. says:

    I’ve never ever been stung by a wasp or a bee in my entire life – so until I read your wasp hunting posts, I had no reason to be scared of wasps. I had no idea that these seemingly harmless creatures could be capable of inducing such pain and terror.

    I hope you keep that streak going. If you’re going to get stung, make it a bee.

  4. Bruce says:

    If they are the slow flying, bump against the ceiling type, a vacuum cleaner with a hose works well. A dust buster does too, but then you gotta get in closer. That way you are not spraying Raid on a window, which may necessitate a window or woodwork cleaning. Plus it’s kind of fun!

    I must admit, I don’t have the guts to go after a wasp with a vacuum cleaner. I want something that kills.

  5. Elle says:

    I just laughed so hard I scared the cats. Fortunately, wasps don’t bother me. Now nutcrackers on the other hand . . . . I’m pretty sure are planning to murder me in my sleep.

    Nutcrackers?

  6. Auntie M says:

    All hail Tom the Wasp Killer!

    We were moving something yesterday, and there was a wasp flying around outside. I just got one of those electric fly swatters that looks like a tennis racket, but was afraid that the voltage was too low and it would just p!ss off the wasp without killing it. I ended up dodging it, but now I won’t go out on my back deck.

    I may take your advice on wasp-killing-armor, and venture out later to kill it. Or I will hide under my covers in bed, whimpering. It’s a toss up at this point. 🙂

    One more wasp in the house, and I’m going to just invest in a beekeeper’s suit.

  7. Erica says:

    You all are sooo funny! My son is also scared of wasps and screams like a girl (he’s 21). We get wasps and bees all the time in our apartment. They don’t usually bother me. In fact, I frequently get a jar and postcard, trap them, then release them back outside. The bees around our apartments are slow moving and tame. I can actually move them away by wafting air at them. I’ve even accidentally swatted them and they don’t sting.

    Now, the more aggressive wasps and bees, I have a healthy respect for. But I still opt for the less toxic response. I don’t want that poison in my house.

    You’re a brave woman. I might attempt trapping a bee, but if I’m going after a wasp, I want lethal weapons.

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